Monday, November 23, 2009

Good fortune,glorious envy and inglorious acceptance

The position a person occupies by default in life, something which he occupies without any work aimed at acquiring it can be called the good fortune the person has. Now how "good" the good fortune is totally a different matter but this article is not about that. The article is about the good fortune and the acceptance of the same.
People are born with different fortunes and they do different karmic acts which together determine the quality of life they will enjoy. I for one believe that the fortune which we are born with is very difficult to override and some events are predetermined which cannot be changed at all. Such events are seen in the chart as very powerful oppositions of some qualities which are mismatched. We cannot change such things but we can definitely work to make ourselves accept the reality of fortune or misfortune.
The fortune of some is the cause of envy for some due to the absence of the same. The problem is not the envy. It is natural for human beings to want something and to see someone better apparelled than self will definitely be a cause of hate. Actually it is one the emotions few can resist so I have called it glorious here.
So now the real problem. Refusal to accept the reality of the time can lead to persistent envy and envy once prompts a person to act can it can be very bad for karma. Well if a person refuses to believe in such concepts then please go on...act on your envy. The fact of matter is that the early the person learns to accept fate more easy it becomes for him to remain happy in that fate. I know it is difficult, and I am no saint(not yet :P maybe in few decades :D) but we have to try and try. Crying over misfortune is the initial reaction which is very fine but when we devote time to think we should pull up the bar and accept the occurrence thus enabling us to be happy even in misfortunate conditions because that's what a life is about...being happy for most of it isn't it? :)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Spirituality, religion and material comforts.

"I am spiritual, not religious" said a friend once. I wondered whether there is a relationship between the two which stands irrespective of the presence in belief in either? A brief view of what spirituality, religion interweaves and what the two of extend to concept of material things.

Spirituality is the most misunderstood and the most misused word in a religious context. Anyone anywhere can claim to its existence in himself irrespective of what he does and what he doesn't. To add to the misery if the judge, spirituality has no yardstick of measurement what so ever. Religion, morality they have yardsticks, may be different for different cultures and areas but atleast we have a context, a background over which can map and find abnormal behavior which can be marked as positive or negative. Now whatever result it may give and its connotation is purely subject to readers views but none the less we have a rudimentary measuring scale. Spirituality on the other hand is weird. Who is spiritual? Who is "unspiritual"? And worse how to plot the varying shades of grey in between?
Religious people follow their own religions. They follow the rules written in their holy books, rules made by their religious leaders and act as how they are supposed to act as a conglomeration and as a representative of the same. Muslims don't eat pork, Hindu's beef etc. This is a superficial manifestation of a real in depth idea of religion. Religion and the most important concept incorporated in it the "god" has many layers to it and thinking closely the last few layers are the ones closest to spirituality. The sense of closeness to supreme entity and a connection, a communication with him(or her or it). Religion in its purest forms is a representation of path to spirituality.
So how we go beyond the barriers of religions and judge a person as spiritual? For that a hypothesis must be made. "There exists a spirit in each living thing which is the cause of life". This assumed we can go further deeper into the depths slicing asunder the superficial layers of material "religion" ism. A person who works with his spirit is a spiritual person. A person who walks alongside his spirit is a spiritual person, a person who lets his spirit lead him to his destination is a spiritual person. It seems so simple in abstraction but what does that mean in actual world?
Simply saying, the power to separate the surroundings from your self is spirituality. To separate the material comforts from the sense of wellness is spirituality. It doesn't mean you have to donate everything and walk naked in the forest. It means to be able to be cut off from a material comfort and yet not let that void get to your psychological well being. Dish washer not working? All of us do the dishes by hand. Some get angry scream, shout, manhandle the utensils(as though it were their fault that you decided to cook in them). Some just do the job, somewhere in the mind they curse the dish washer, or the company that made it, or the person who came to deliver it or the model who advertises it. And then there are few who get upset(of course anyone would) but "LEAVE" behind the happenings and move ahead, do the dishes. This is spirituality.
The material comforts are good, they make our life easy but they shouldn't become our life. Wedding take place centered around the bride's dress? The dress is more important than the thought that another person is committing is life to you?
Extremely speaking we shouldn't be dependent on any of the material comforts at all but practically thinking that is highly impossible. We cant go out hunt animals and poo on the ground now can we? So the next best alternative is to reduce the dependency on the amenities which can be replaceable. The least we can do is not center our life around things. Fancy clothes and gadgets don't replace or enhance a spirit they just are a cause for spiritual decay.
In astrology the 4th place, the place of happiness has the most strong connection with spirituality. Strikingly it also rules the home and conveyances. How can a place rule material comforts and their dissociation at a same time? Yes it can. The place is an indicator of how a person enjoys his material comforts. There are people happily sleeping on floor while there are people who cant sleep on Egyptian cotton sheets. This ability is the function of 4th house. A benfic planet like Jupiter, moon, venus here creates a person who can sleep on floor while a malific(however be it placed) is the opposite.
So the path to spirituality may not be easy, and everyone sure cant wash dishes without making noise. The golden middle is slowly training yourself to be more and more spiritual. Make use of all the amenities that you have, just don't become a dependent wreck on them, don't get addicted to them. This maybe difficult but trials can give the ability(maybe varingly). The path to a spiritual life takes us through thorns but without thorns we never appreciate our shoes and the cobbler who made those for us.
Similarly we never appreciate life and its creator without seeing the other side of the coin.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Indian night out in Cleveland

I just came from a night out in Cleveland. We had an indian party, all indian students together gathered to celebrate the arrival of new indian students for fall 2009. I was quite apprehensive about attending such parties but now I have realised that those can be fun.
Later we walked home which is about 20mins away from the party hall, walking at night in Cleveland was very nice feeling, it is not too cold to shun outsides here yet and we all are enjoying the last days of summer now.
Entire day felt like shit today. I still haven't got a job, and the job which I was interested in is going to someone else (I suppose), then I emailed my professor on wrong email id, and an unmentionable yet sad event. In and all a total day of Ravi shani yuti. Lets see what good happens when the conjunction wears off tomorrow.
Till then I wait for sun to re-emerge from Saturn's shadow
Few pictures from party and the walk home..

Monday, September 7, 2009

To do or not to do

Again the immortal dilemma strikes. "To do or not to do" that is the question. Right now I am stuck in a transition phase with many changes. Most of changes I have accepted with an open heart and clear open mind. Some however are dilematic.
Like here I cant get good vegetarian food, having two carnivores as room mates doesn't help either. They cook up animals every other day and I am left to fend for myself. Well I am a good cook and can feed myself perfectly well, but with the unavailability of many things I cant prepare food with variety to it. After some time boredom sets in and eating is a chore. Many people have urged me(including my parents) to give up this vegetarian diet and start eating dead bodies(ie meat). This is a tricky situation, do I give in to my situation and start eating meat or stick to my current diet devoid of meat. This isn't just about chicken, this is about the beliefs I believe in. This is about the concept I consider correct. Will I or rather Should I give up all my beliefs and stands just because I moved to a different Continent??
Then comes the American way of life. Parties, parties and some more parties. I hate those parties, I totally detest them but those are the only ways to meet new people. Should I put myself through something which I hate just that I am not alone? frankly I don't mind being alone, I would have loved to live by myself but given the financial restraints I am sharing an apartment. The problem is when I see people have a nice time I too think that I should have some good time with people. What I don't think, would I be really having a nice time if I were in place of those people?? I really don't know and trying is too much an effort.
And the dilemma continues with alcohol, abuses etc etc.
My way to deal with this problem? Just wait and watch for directions. After 2 long years Saturn is finally moving, removing the bad aspect to my vital houses in horoscope. So I am expecting something to change and when it does Saturn will reveal the direction I am supposed to go.
Sometimes when you cant decide "to do or not to do"..don't decide at all.
Let fate do it for you.
A beautiful scottish song.....calming music..

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Welcome to America

So finally got time to write a blog. This is my first post from USA.....

I arrived in US about a week ago but was busy with the university process so didn't get time to write anything. After a long process of examination,application,visa,packing,a gruellingly long flight, lot of jet lag I finally arrived in US. I had a flight from Mumbai to Atlanta and another connecting flight from Atlanta to Cleveland,where I currently am. I had never sat in an aeroplane before, but now that I have sat in one it hardly matters that I have. Weird emotions, when you don't have it you are constantly thinking of how you can have it, and when you DO have it, booh its no more important.
United states is a little different country, It doesn't have an ethnicity or a culture it can call it its own, it surely is a melting pot of all the world has to offer. It is a country where you can find a cafeteria owned by a black person, which has Latino waiters serving German pastries to finicky Indian customers :). One thing I totally hate is the amount of eat eaten here. There is practically nothing I can get in restaurants here. They have very little vegetarian food on counter. I do cook for myself but that always is not possible with the time constraints and the odd class hours. I have a class at 6pm to 9pm.WTH is this?? :O. Anyway the thing is this country is not like any another. In many countries it is possible to identify the "country people" and the foreigners, but here uh ha. USA is just not that easy, people who might look like totally adapted to American way of life actually might have alighted from an aeroplane in last 48hours and vice a versa. it or not, I have to live here for another 2 years now. Like loudspeakers at Atlanta airport I say "Welcome to America"

Monday, July 13, 2009

Unremarkably remarkable

I had the most odd day today. I had decided to go for a morning show at 9 with a couple of friends. As usual we all didn't get up on time for 9 show. Hurriedly we raced to theatre to catch the 11 show and viola..there is no Transformers 2 show at 11. We got tickets for the 2pm show. now what to do from 10:30 till 2??
Then the fun began. We went into a really crowded restaurant. We knew that this restaurant would be horribly crowded at this time on Sunday, still we on purpose went in. We wanted to past time. There we we waited for an hour to get the table and I loved 45minutes of the wait. We had a boy constantly looking at us(or rather me :P). We spent a lot of time discussing whether he is gay or bi curious hehehehe...
Later we finally got a shared table ie its a big table we share it with other customers. Our table sharers were quite weird. First there were 3-4 ugly boys with us on table. They were talking of going to US and all, we were like "puhlease..we have our visas"..heheh just some boasting. Later a very weird fellow came and sat next to us. He wore s formal pant a very formal leather belt and to match off a funky t-shirt and a winter cap(??????? in July????) and was listening to what seemed a mp3 player(which actually on close observation was a cheap radio). He started screaming for tea, loudly. Whole restaurant was like "ehh?? wth"..he got his tea drank it like he were sipping vintage wine and then straight went to restroom. Returned in few minutes and just sat for dew minutes plain blank done, almost comatose. Later paid the bill and went away..
It was so unusual time in restaurant.

Now you would say whats remarkable about this?? This was the last time I was waiting with this very close friend of mine. He too is leaving for USA.
A single fact changed an entire stupid story into what is really was "Unremarkably remarkable".

Saturday, July 11, 2009

See you once again...

Generally I say that to any person while we say byes. Yesterday I realise that sometime in near future I will have to stop it for once. I still have time to go to USA, but one of my friends is leaving a little earlier as he will spend time with his family in New Jersey. As I saw him calling up all friends to tell them that he is going and wants to meet them one last time, it slowly dawned upon me that I would have to do the same some day.
Then I realised that there will be last meetings and last byes. I doubt when I return the things will have changed and I can no longer see and meet the friends that I did. However optimistic a person is, 2 years is just too much of time and this is tentative. Further I may meet close friends, what about the people who are friends but not that close? Will I even try to contact them?? Will I be the same person? Will the ever changing dynamicity show its irreversible effect and metamorphose my very existence into something that is absolutely different than what I am?
The womb of time holds the answer and it doesn't deliver prematurely..EVER..

A song that I have loved for ages. Westlife sings "My love".

So I say it in a breath
Hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again my love
All the seas go coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again

I hope I see you once again, really......

Friday, July 10, 2009

"Bhoolna aur Yaad nahi rehna"

"Bhool jana aur yaad nahi rehna"...What is the difference in the two?
I saw a TV show which was a very nice portrayal of a woman afflicted by Alzheimer's disease and is treated as a mad person and thrown out of her house. The show showed how she hires a taxi to go meet her family but fails to remember her address leading to various situations....
At the very end it is shown that the her son had forgotten her birthday. Then the difference between the seemingly same emerges.

We forget what we want to, and dont remember what we want to.

Bhoolna aur jaad na rehne mein kafi farak hain.....

Friday, June 5, 2009

And it rained...

Rain was eluding Pune city for over 15days now. Usually it starts raining pre monsoon showers by end of May but this year it didn't drop a single drop till today..
Today was a sad day, a small tragedy in family made all sad ans busy. It was not much to cry over but sorrow was in the air. So spent the most of the day thinking and being somewhat sad. Later in evening it just happened that the sky filled a grey colour and within minutes it became evident that it was going to rain today. As if to calm and mollify the sorrow, heavens opened up after a long time. A summer tempest type rain was very comforting and relaxing. I make a point to wet myself in first rains on Monsoon, that is really a nice feeling to have. This year it was least expected considering the situation, but monsoon itself wanted me to be wet. I was returning home on bike when drops suddenly bounced off the hot arid tar. As I rode home filled with thoughts mostly sad, as if to calm me down, as if to quickly move forward, as a signal of hope and happiness...
It rained.....
Song to suit the mood

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Crossing the stream

May ends and with it I lay to rest many ghosts of past. Many stories in my life are either finished or drawing themselves to dramatic endings. I always wonder the way of fate, it just makes way for everything. Things just fall in in right places, places are made for things to fall in. An effortless way of fate to meet all the requirements. What seems utterly impossible turn into blaring realities. One move by planets and the entire background on your life is situated turns around and reveals a new colour to which you are supposed to adjust.
There is a very old song by ABBA called "I have a dream" in which a line goes "When I know the time is right for me, I cross the stream". I am feeling the same way. Its time to cross the stream.
Thanks to Dasha change I have a very new outlook to life and a very cool, stable approach to life.
Now I guess I am ready to cross the "symbolic" stream.
There are number of things which bind me to this shore of streams..thought most of them are finding way to end association. Really things are really fixing themselves, people making their own exits. I will be hard just to pack up and leave for ever, but I have no choice. I have to follow my fate and that signals me to leave now.
As far as people I am leaving on this shore then it will be difficult for them. Mainly my family will be affected much. I don't have any prominent friends. I had a very good friend but I am not on talking terms with him since a months now, that's a closed story. I think I ll meet him once before I leave, don't know lets see when "bye bye" time comes. Another friend is like me leaving so that's his own fate and story. So mainly family that will miss me, but its a temporary thing, they will get over my absence soon. Time doesn't stagnate and doesn't let anyone stagnate. Changes are eternal and only death can rescue you from changes..
So in June I finally step ahead to cross the stream. Bye bye comfortable May..hope to see you once again in life.
Same song "I have a dream" by ABBA

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Stability all the way

By that I don't mean stability in life and materialistic things. By that I mean a stability of mind and behavior. Yesterday night I made a huge mistake, of accepting apology. Accepting apologies is the way cookie crumbles actually but sometime the validity and veracity of the apology is under severe judgemental microscope. In such times a wrong decision harm the apology acceptor more than giver.
I even realised confession doesn't usually lead to turning things all right, well anyway whatever might happen confession lessens the burden off the head. I did confess a few things which turned the situation a lot worse but I just don't care about that.Usually normally I would have thought and wasted a lot of my time on my part in the worsening. New me?? nopes, that's the last thing on my mind now.
Today is Shani Jayanti, the amavasya in krittika nakshatra(my nakshatra). This amavasya is usually horrible for me till last year I just avoided doing anything on this day. Today is different, I know something bad will happen still I am going to go out and carry out my predetermined things. Whats the worse that can shani throw at me? I am prepared for all.....
I love my new me, and love the new found gift of stability.....
A lovely song telling the essence of life. Life is too short to waste on bad people, you ll encounter them always in life, best way to deal with them is to move on. Forget what happened and move ahead to embrace the new sun that's to come on the horizon..
Its best to wash the bloodshed that night did rather than to cry over that. Crying does nothing, washing cleans the mind and prepares it to smile when the new Sun rises on the horizon...prepares to smile as a new day comes....:)

Friday, May 22, 2009

Mayflower blooms in time

May is on its way to closure. I hate this time, May ending is by default the end of fun in my mind. Well as a child that was case for 10-12 years but now its not so still I feel sad when may comes to a starling end. This year, May was different than it was for last 16 years or so that i remember. This may was insignificant it held nothing much fun. Still I cant help feeling the tinge that its coming to an end. I love all things may signifies, the freedom, the no work, the tans in the sun, the mangoes all... Lovely sun riped mangoes yummy. I even love the electricity failures that occur in night forcing me to sit in dark in terrace or in window. Well we have an inverter now still I don't switch on light when we have a failure. It is a very nice feeling to be in dark away from the thousands of prying judgmental and marking eyes of the world. It feels safe not to be judged always, not to be marked out of 10 and not to be be worried that you didn't score a 9. It feels very different. It feels a lot different to be alone in dark.
Love all the things that May offers each year. May the season when sun shines the most, May the season when we feel free without any reason, when we laugh at each others weird tans, may the season when we enjoy the wind in night, may the season when minds bloom into happiness and freedom.

May the month when like a person sitting alone in dark, Mayflowers bloom alone in their beautiful glory but alone in surrounding dryness..

May the month....

Sunday, May 17, 2009

A summer night through the city

I had THE THE THE most enjoyable day ever today. Therefore I had to write it down, I would like to capture such moments in time capsules which I can see and smile later.

The day was not something that was out of ordinary. It was fun but I have such fun many times these days so that was not something different. The different was the evening and night. I was to meet a friend for a evening snack(that replaced dinner). So he came to pick me up and we went to the place and ate. So far everything ordinary...then all of sudden he said that we should go for a drive in city. Then we had the blast, it was wonderful...
Well summers in Pune are quite rough and temperatures soaring very high. But that is in day, as the sun sets on western dusty horizon winds blow in Pune, as the sun disappears the winds grow cooler and cooler and in the night cool winds blow throughout the city. By 9 o'clock whole of Pune is enveloped in the cool dusty winds which are the best feature of the otherwise horrible summer. Driving through the city at such a time is a experience in itself. Traffic ceases its chaotic roar by 9 pm and silence begins to spread along the roads. Especially the less frequented roads are very deserted by 10pm and give way to the free winds to dance their lovely dance.
Well we choose a rather less traffic road and went on a slow cruising along the road. Not too fast not boringly slow at a speed where we can enjoy the winds but not get choked by it.
I absolutely love the feel of somewhat cool and refreshing wind in the face. It makes your cheeks cold and when you touch your touch your face you realise that you have become cool :). That's the best part, further I don't have long hair to be troubled by what happens to it in the wind. had a blast in the night air in city. Only one thing twitched my mind, I should be in such a situation with the person I love(though friends are very good company they don't replace love its supplementary not complimentary). These days as Venus travels martian sign I am experiencing many different things well one thing is the outcome. I cry constantly that I don't have love in life, do I actually want one?
Anyway lets not spoil this wonderful post by talking about this now. This night let it be the night that blew wind in the face...for ever..and for ever..
Song from 16th December "Dil mera ek tara"...I am as awara as my dil :D if not more heheh

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Winding up present

Last few posts I mentioned how I was changing, yesterday I was convinced that it is for good, nay for BEST. I guess the planets are preparing me for the journey ahead. My being quiet, calm, cold and calculative will help me further when I pursue my dreams ahead.
Well what happened? Few days ago I saw a new word a verb "to defriend" it is soon to be added into English dictionary I am using it a tad bit earlier. So I defriended a very good friend of mine. The metaphorical action of removing the person profile from social networking site. In my case orkut. Now if I had been old me. I would have put the cursor on the "remove" button and thought for half an hour and then wouldn't have pushed it. But new me, in minutes I removed him further went to gtalk and blocked him too :O.
Such behavior is totally new to even me and to add to surprise after I kicked him out I went out with another friend and are ice cream :O :O. There I was all okay. I wont say happy but quite close hmm "blissful" would be more appropriate word. Bliss full as in free from thoughts of what i just did. This "defriend" is the person I mentioned in the many of my posts and recently he hooked up with a girl. Well suddenly his behavior changed and blah blah blah...we all know story how how people change when they get girlfriends. Point is this change is not because of her, I know her and she didn't do anything to make him behave with this highhandedness. Its self decided behavior. Anyway yesterday he showed arrogance of the highest kind. So out he went..
This bring us to end of a story. Slowly slowly major parts of my life are winding up to their ends.
I am not doing anything particular but the events are unfolding likewise. People are leaving my life and the I am being excused from theirs. Slowly I am loosing the baggage i had with me baggage of presence and past. In this way planets are conspiring to make me "fit" for the future.
This attitude will surely help me in future. I don't know whether I "grew" up but if Jupiter indeed "grew" me up, he did a good job with me.
Saturn turns straight on 17th May. This planet will then make a very fast run for the exit of sinha sign. Saturn winds up his stay in sinha, making my past and present clear the way for future. Next Jupiter will turn retro in august going back into makar making the perfect combination where I move beyond the present making it the past.
A past that began by itself and ended by itself. Then only thing that will remain are memories of how I befriended someone and how I defriended him. Cause one thing planets cant affect is memories.......Goodbye past and bye bye present...

Song that I like very much. I particularily didnt paste the video(though that is very good too). Just wanted to hear the song. I dont know what it signifies to people. To me it signifies the start, a new dawn that stabs the night to death.....

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Few weeks ago I wrote about how I was seriously was, "no strings attached" happy for someone else. Next in line I wrote about how I was unusually calm and composed in most aggression invoking scenarios. Today I wrote how change has affected me in another quadrant.
I have seemed to lost the bad attribute of "worrying" and "caring". Yes I was overtly worried about what my actions/words do to other people. This was to the extent that used to try to undo the harm by apologising or trying to allay the situation. Now I just don't care..:-).
Maybe another of Jupiter's changes(Still trying to gauge how I have changed, its very difficult to perceive yourself changing) but this one I open with open arms. I really need a break from the over emotional nature I had. Words are like arrows once they leave the bow there is little one can do. So whats the point in worrying and getting all upset by them.
As I have lost the care what my words do to others I seem to lost the action others does to me as well. I care very little about what people say to me nowadays. Its not that I have become a total ascetic or something. What I am writing is a drastic drop in intensity of the emotions I used to feel. The anger, the affinity, the care, the envy, the sorrow everything has suddenly dropped and and the effect is that I am very quiet and silent these days. But this quiescence is not sad it is the reflection of the peace of mind I have these days.
Hmm was hearing a really nice Marathi poems the other day, one line seems to refuse to leave my brain.
This is by Suresh Bhat I dont know the whole song but this line is very touching.....

Tula bhetatil majhe, tujhya ghari sur olakhiche
ubha tujya aagani swarancha abol ha parijaat aahe
(You will meet a lot of my tunes in your house; Standing in your courtyard is a silent tree of tunes)

Monday, April 27, 2009

Do we realise "Full stops"?

I really have a weird thought today. Can we realise that there is a "full stop" in a particular thing. Nice moral stories may go on and on about how efforts can change fortune and blah blah. Well wake up in actual world it does not happen. In actual world things end and efforts are lost in thin air. That accepted and acknowledged can we know when to "stop", know that our efforts further will yeild nothing as such. I am generally very optimisitc person, I always hope that things do really happen for good and that even the worst possible dark cloud has a silver lining. I have a strong sense of hope and always hope for the best in whatever is left. Still sometimes I just have a feeling that something is just "done"..gone finished, fertig. Generally seeing the probablity of 50% the probablity of it happening is suprisingly accurate. So can we generally know that our efforts are going to go down the drain?
Even in relationships and frienships can we realise the "point-of-no-return"? can we realise that a certain relationship is battered beyond repair and just move on with our life? It may be very difficult for normal people but when you are an astrologer you sort of develop a detachment from the materialistic world. We astrologers tend to see the world and its people, their miseries in third person and slowly slowly we start looking at family,friends and lastly self in a perspective of a third person. So we can actually detect a dead end??

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Are people really snakes??

Alexander the great, the great conqueror of unknown lands received a very important lesson from his mother Olympia. Olympia was Greek and indulged in pagan religious activities. She has many a kind of snakes with her. Young Alexander was but natural afraid of them. Historians quote Olympia teaching Alexander:-

"There is nothing to fear about snakes, snakes like our touch. They feed on our affinity, they absorb our love and make our hands cold. They like the care and comfort we give them and relish our help and our good wishes....
Snakes are like people, you can spend a lifetime caring for one but in the end he will turn around and bite back injecting death in return for affinity. "

The more earlier one realises this better it is because at least we can stop caring for snakes.........
I guess 22 is not a bad age to realise is it? Well like many other things I have realised this late. Whats done is done...but no more snakes now

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Ethics of Astrology

Few days ago a person asked me about a chart. It was not his, someone elses. Asking about it he asked when will the person die? I was taken aback. The chart clearly showed a horribly placed lagnesh plus 8th place had no consoliditary planet. So am I supposed to tell him that person will die early? What do ethics of astrology tell? Is the relevance to rules laid down 2000 years ago intact?
Well if you decide "not to predict death", will it be a cheating? I mean for professionals people pay them, at this stage witholding important information like this, isnt this cheating? Right now I have the excuse of "I am learning", I mean if I predict to someone an early death, and then learn something new then? Am I supposed to "revise" his death timing or what? Isnt this very close to godliness? When you "revise" a persons death time. So death predictions are out of question for me. Still I have been taught how to check out age and life expectancy so some yogs cannot miss the eye. As one learns Jyotish eyes are trained to spot the "knot". At such times I have to lie and not tell correctly what I saw.
My Astrology teacher(He is quite aged about 78) talked candidly with us. He told how these "lies" and manipulations can affect the Jyotish's life itself. He said it creates a "burden of knowledge", knowledge when witheld is a burden for the witholder. Such knowledge cripples mental peace and calmness of person.
Right now I may be safe behind the "learner" tag, but some day it will be gone. Then what am I going to do? Tell truth to save myself the "burden" or witheld the truth for sake of "ethics"?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Growing up

A very old saying goes "What doesn't change dies". If not changing is attributed to a future death, changing must be attributed to life. So is change a sign of life? Or really does a change signify a health, a sense of living etc?
Recently I have changed a lot. I have become more patient and a lot less arguing. Earlier I used to fight for hours upon absolutely useless things, immaterial ones. Nowadays even important things cant force me to take up arms. I am a LOT less possessive and very much less caring also.
Is this good? Am I becoming calm or do I no longer care. The later situation is very bad because when I don't care for something, I really don't....that is the end then. At this stage I want to be a little optimistic and believe that I am becoming in generality calm and composed. Then the most frightening thought strikes my head. "Am I growing up?" :O. Till now I have always behaved like an overgrown kid and got away with that, but all of sudden I am loosing interest in many things which I had much many before. Can a person just "grow" in months?
Astrologically I just started a complete new antardasha, from Rahu-Rahu to Rahu-Guru. The planet of maturity and oldness Guru, is this the reason I am suddenly behaving like a calm composed person. Most weird thing is, I can see myself reacting differently. Like today I was in a situation where I would have flared up and created a huge hullabablaboo, but I did 1/20th of what I would have originally done. And while I was reacting like this, I was actually feeling myself changed. It was a very very weird feeling. It is like when only one of your foot gets wet.
You want more, you want water on the other foot but you cannot, its like that. I wanted to be more angry and more aggressive was as if the taps of angers went dry and there is a drought of aggression.
Another thing is, I should be happy that I am more calm and not fast reacting, but I am not. I feel weird when I don't get angry. I feel like its not me. I know this is because of habit. Even parrots in cages love their cages and prefer them to open skies. I hope I realise the right time to leave the cage.
I never imagined that change of antardasha can bring about such drastic changes in me. For years people used to say to me "grow up", "learn to make decisions", "learn to take responsibility"..........Is it time to do it all? Has Jupiter decided that I shed the skin of child and become a man now? Scary it may be but if it is time I must do it. Because to live one must change. In coming time it will become clear what is expected of me now. Whether the time has finally come to "GROW UP"........for once and for all.........

Embedding song from my very favorite series "Brothers and sisters"..."Easier to lie"....
Even I feel the same, its easier to lie to myself, that nothing is changing stick to the past I had.
Everyone knows the shouldnt lie, but many still do....because it is much easier to lie...

Saturday, April 11, 2009


I just realised that one entire year will be completed for the blog. I started blogging around 20th April last year. I just cant believe that...................... Complete year gone. Time flies like a cheetah running for a snack or rather more aptly the Thomsons Gazelle which runs with his life dangling between life and death. I started blogging just because I wanted to "write" and feel like a writer. I like writing and have a long lost dream of being a Journalist. Well I certainly cant call it "long lost", recently one of my friend left his well paid IT job and training to pursue a journalist job which paid him half. So who knows if I try really hard I could end up being one, heheeh but then again will I try that hard?? hehehe
So was talking about the blog and the love for writing. In the past year..hmm lets see. Jupiter changed sign, I changed from Rahu-Rahu to Rahu-Guru and Saturn finally decided to say bye bye to sinha and is his way out of the pompous sign. So many changes but I feel like that nothing has. It is like feeling like just few days passed, actually when the world changes. Great is the human power to adjust, we adjust to so many things without actually knowing that we do :O
Song by ABBA...nice one...

Friday, April 10, 2009

Angels,Demons...or just FATE??

I was thinking about writing this for quite a long time but like all things my incredibly lazy attribute has procrastinates it like anything. What I want to write is a bit weird, it is bit paranormal. I somehow feel like I have something in life which puts a cushion in between me and hardships. Well this has happened so many times that it has lost the typical "coincidence" explanation right. It just cannot be explained.
I ll divulge more details here now. Actually examples would make it easy. I am very sad these days due to some universities rejecting my application. Still every time I get a tad bit more sad something comes up. Something that just lifts my mood up like a wind lifting a fallen bird feather.
Its like I never make any major decisions in my life, they are just made automatically for me and almost every sad thing has a reason which surfaces later.
Example:- The choice to learn astrology was not mine. I never set out of house to become an astrologer. My mother heard about the astro class and wanted to join it. So she sent me to collect forms for her. The result, she never attended that rather I went in astrology. It is very weird that a subject I have so so so much interest is just "happen" to be put on my plate when I had the least palette for it. Is a person destined to become someone/be somewhere/do something which he/she cannot avoid?
There are many more situations which bear witness to "fate" at work. Second most blaring is German. I just joined German for "Time pass" because one of my friend joined it. Later he dropped out and I am near the completion of my second level. Again last week after I got a major rejection I was very sad and down and wanted to meet an astrology acquaintance but she didn't have time. Later as the week progressed I became more and more blue and all of sudden she calls me and invites me over. There again she showed me in so many ways the occurrence that I am just convinced. That totally removed my sorrow and induced a new vigour in me to work ahead.
Long time ago when I was 12 my grandmother used to tell me that I am a reincarnation of her father-in-law who died a very long time ago. I was like "ohohoho" and that would be made a joke into. Last Saturday when a very knowledgeable jyotish told me the same thing then my ears went up like a rabbit. I have long heard of ancestors helping family members and jyotish is filled with such fables. But when something unfathomable happens it calls for the mind to look to more alternatives other than plain old "coincidence". There are just too too many coincidences.
So what is it? Angels? Demons? Ancestors? Fate? or even the thought just slipped into my mind
I don't know, but one day I will, that may be the day I die but one day I sure will.
Song from Jewel thief I like it very much..though not related to this talk..

Saturday, March 28, 2009

My kind of Day

Today really I had something called "my kind of day". A day filled with weird uncertainty yet ending with fun and good time in all. These kinds of days are the ones which I love the most.
Early morning I got call from a friend in German class, she wanted to do Hausaufgabe(Homework) together. I really liked that idea since I rarely do it in first place. She fixed afternoon as meeting time. Sensing I had time in evening I called up my couple friends and fixed an appointment to meet them. My German friend also is a friend of couple so it was 4 of us.
In afternoon the place is not decided we meet at general place. There she came up with a weird idea of doing homework on a HILLTOP. Yeah that too in blazing heat of 4' o clock. So much so that I write it negatively the real truth is I like weird ideas to the core. Its just refreshing and downright fun, I love it. So off we go on hill to do homework. We actually started doing it, then got bored and started skipping it heheh in no time we had either finished or finished skipping all of the homework heheheh.
Then came down and met the couple. I was meeting the gf in that for first time. By reactions of others I suppose she was not herself today. Anyway I don't make opinions and biases in single meetings. We ll meet again over times and then I ll get to form one. We ate and talked and talked about jyotish too. That actually improves the conversation a lot otherwise it was leaning to boredom a lot. The parting note was quite the bard famously said "Alls well that ends well". Shakespeare is god for me heheh.
Then got a late night(not that late actually) by the friend(the bf) in the couple. We talked about how we found the day and etc etc. Then schluss.....I am sitting here now.
It is these kinds of days that I earn for. These days that make a person feel his inner joy and enjoy the very existence of living. After all that's what really matters.......
If you love to live as you are, you got to know you are living a good life. I think right now this second frozen in time I am. I may or may not in future, but this bubble will always make me realise that I have had it. It is both therapeutic and consoling, this is what I am thinking as the "The my kind of day" passes by to become a part of memory attached to many people places and actions. Passes to become a part of few things that make you smile when remembered.

This is song for myself, I like it very much and I dont care if anybody doesnt hehehe
Atleast not today...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Nice day

Suddenly I feel like being a daily blogger again, so writing dont know how much more time this feeling will remain though heheh.
Hmm nowadays I have early morning german classes, its not that early actually its 8:30. So got up early and went there. We had a replacement teacher while our original is busy with some seminar. Huh replacement ine was much better than our original. Actually our teacher is a bitch. I just hate her. She is an egoistic, self absorbed and extremely impatient teacher. During my A1 I had such nice teachers that made me interested in german and I enrolled for A2. but with current one I just dont see myself going for next level. She has destroyed whatever interest I had. One day we spent 4 hours correcting homework, horrible 4 hours. At the end I was nearly asleep. When I was absent(not purposely) few of my co-students went to the director of the institute to complain about her. I so wish I was one of them. huh...
She is so particular about pronounciation that she creates a hullabablaboo if we pronounce the word incorrectly. Okay we need to be proper in pronounciation no sweat. We have few malayalam nuns and priests in our class too. They have the most catastrophic pronounciations one has ever heard, but does she correct and insult them?? Nope. Now what to make of this differential treatment. Yes I said insult correct, every correction of her's is close to an insult.
hmm enough about my teacher from hell. I hope the deutscher Directkor changes her, and assigns a more understanding and friendly teacher to us.
So the day was not normal because of our replacement teacher was very nice we had fun there.
Enjoyed and learned, the way it should be. Then returned home and followed my normal routine.
Eat-sleep-internet. hehehe.
Right now in the course of next cycle..with sleep.heheh,not so early though.
Bye cyu later..

Monday, March 23, 2009

Love actually "is" there...

Trust me I have been the greatest critic of the said "true love" but I shed the skin. Yes finally I do accept that it is there. Two people can just "love" each other no-strings-attached. Now don't jump to conclusions that I have found someone(Saturn are you hearing? enough I think). This is about a friend and this is real friend, not the kind of friend we see in "sex help columns", I mean he is real not an Albie for me.
It will be quite a year since he told a girl his feelings, and now she accepted him and quite well. I asked his gf "What is it like to be in a relationship?" and guess what her reply was "I am always happy", just that. Now that is the most amazing example of what is called "love". And you know what? I am happy heheh. I may sound little weird as to why "I" should be happy? Well it is simple I see one of my close friend happy and I am happy. I know many people will be rolling their eyes(especially ones who know me) I am sorry to disappoint you there are no "buts" here.
I have managed to surprise myself beyond parallel, I never knew I could be so happy for some other person but I am heheh.
We have been through a lot, together and alone taking that into account this is the most wonderful thing I have done for him and for myself too. I haven't seen them together till now but will see them soon I guess. He doesn't show it but he loves his gf like a person loves his heartbeats.(and yeah I have to express it for him because he cant :P). Love is in the hot march air I suppose, and it is rubbing everyone with its fragrance. It is the raindrop that blesses the spot it drops on sure, but it also bounces off into a thousand small droplets that bless many other spots in near vicinity. I happen to have the fortune of that benediction love spreads.
I don't know whether I ll ever receive direct raindrops by "love courier service" but till then I am more than joyful to have the secondhand ones.
I feel happy that finally he got what he deserves and I am also happy that I have not even a hint of green in it. The latter doubles the mirth prior bestows because finally I can categorise myself as a "good human being" one who is genuinely happy for others.This may sound like a selfish thing to say especially since I am writing about a couple..but then
Whose blog are you reading?? Hello??. heheh
I would really really really give a song to the new couple. Its "kuch to hua hain" from Kal ho....It really says what a person must be feeling when he/she is in love. People in love do tell me whether its true or not.

Now dont get me wrong, I m not saying people dance on streets and do stupid things, but do they wish to do them? There lies the answer :). They may not do what song shows, but if they want to do that, then I think the song has served its purpose well
Well till now I was not sure I wanted to be in love(or rather does such thing exists), but after I experience the "bounced droplets"..I want to say "Bring on the rain Baby":)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Does everything has a reason?

Okay let me first tell you the story that caused me to think on this unusual topic..

I have been ill for 2 days because of which I missed by German class yesterday. I generally have my class at 1:30 pm everyday. So yesterday teacher told that she was going to take important things in extra time at 12:30 pm. A friend even called me in morning but I was busy and didn't receive that call. Later I had some work in University so I started from home at 11 am. My plan was:-Reach university by work which will take up 1 hour at least. That will make it 12:45 then go to my class by 1 pm for my 1 :30 lecture. Oblivious to the time change I went to university. What I say, all departments are closed. duhh, this is second time I am seeing a closed offices. I was angry and frustrated and stomping my feet. I was so agitated that police officers guarding university looked at me weirdly as I was stomping my way through the campus. No they didn't stop me, actually no police or security ever stops me, weird na? But its true I manage to get into confidential areas just like that hehe. Anyway then I decide that as I have time to spend I ll sit in canteen and spend some time. So I go in canteen, what I see? HUGE crowd, the usually deserted canteen is full and many Bangladeshi refugees are gobbling food like they saw it after decades. Again I was angry, stomping my feet walked towards parking.
Then while walking I realised that all this time I am not wearing my "Hijab" hehe. Well I have a ugly wind cheater and huge hanker chief to cover my face(from sun and pollution). I call it hijab borrowed from Muslim context, but actually it serves the purpose well. It manages to divert attention from me. Without my hijab if I were to walk I am a center of uncalled for male/female attention and I hate the starings. You may think its good being looked at but trust me its NOT.
Okay so all this time 50 people are staring at me. Its a horrible day nothing can be more horrible than this. I just decide to go to my class and wait for it to start.

I go to my class, reach it by 12:30 and whoa I am on time :) What can you call this? Everything has a reason it just takes time to show :)

Saturday, January 31, 2009


January ends as it started. Time flies faster than a hawk chasing a prey. And what am I doing?? Actually nothing. There is an uncomfortable status quo in my life. Don't know how or why but things are just not working. I am having important work but its getting postponed and not by my laziness but rather due to circumstances. When will these circumstances give way to more light?
I wait as master Saturn turns his wheels for me. Its always been this way I have to wait for the road to clear up.
Anyway even the winter seems to have eluded me this time. Its just not cold, actually its not hot either but I remember last year this time I was shivering in cold at 6 30 am everyday(I had tuition's). This year nothing. I also remember what I was doing in January of 2007--04. Aah 2004, the best year of my life I must say. It was not complete though. If a complete year has to be good I guess 2003 takes the prize on account of how much fun I had then. 2004 began with a rather extrapolated version of 2003. I had friends, a great dream, a great position in class, great academics. I had all that is important at 17. Then down came the ceiling, as the year progressed it turned around and bit me like a crazy bitch. Suddenly the fun finished, friends went their own(better than mine) ways, academics vanished into thin air, position slipped so low that it was unimaginable. I fought to regain it, I refused to accept that all is over. I refused to accept that I no longer was the center of attraction. Living in painful denial dropped my interest in what I had in my hand(something I repent). The crown had fallen, monarchy uprooted, kingdom annexed.
Incidentally why had this happened? Well simple explanation is given by astrology sade saati duhh what do you expect in it?? More introspection revealed the hidden cause. The real cause is a silent asleep pride which I had then. I bore the punishment for the pride I had and this reformed me a lot.
Then the years passed and I grew more comfortable with my new fraction-of-first fun life. slowly I recovered still the past haunted me for many a times till I learnt to bury it in the dark chambers of mind. Slowly I made new friends and build up a new world for myself. It was nothing compared to the lost kingdom but a house to own I must say. Normality followed and a sense of security too. Now I am perfectly happy in my own new world. Still sometimes I look back and see the days when everything was perfect.....the days of January 2004..
A very nice song with a very nice meaning
I have much now but i need much more if I were to have what I once had...

Thoda hain thode ki zaroorat hain

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Privacy or shelling

Firstly something about my meeting with Karun. It went fantastic.Karun is as he portrays on Internet. Exactly, just I imagined him 10kgs lighter hehehe.
Just now I was talking to a friend about her blog which I have started reading. She told me she didn't want many people to read her blog and that was reason she didn't advertise her blog. Is she yearning for privacy or is this an action of shelling oneself. I know that we all need privacy we all have to keep certain things strictly to ourselves, I don't contest that at all. What I am saying is that where the line of privacy seeking nature end and that of self protective wall building nature begin? Can it be found out? ever?
I mean if you take the pains of expressing your thoughts through a medium, is it a need of privacy to keep those hidden? Then why write it in first place? I know all cannot be intended for all audience, but then we can always choose how much to reveal to whom...
I have always made the mistake of shelling myself under the false veil of privacy. Something I regret many a times. This false veil is the biggest chicanery one can do to oneself. The moment you try to restrict access you create a barrier that deceives you, the barrier projects a screen a mirage of security when in fact it is preventing the mind from opening up new frontiers.
I recall a very famous dialogue from television serial "Andromeda". The situation is like captain person meets a very odd alien and talks to him, and while talking the weird alien alludes at the presence of many more weird alien species, the captain contradicts the weird alien...then he says..

"Captain, you claim to be an explorer?? Then open your mind to new possibilities"

Same way everyone has to open up his/her mind to new things, far from being held up in old shells of false security, try new frontiers. Who knows this may be the same thing you were searching for? Give up the false sense of privacy, privacy is essential indeed but it should not stop a person from being free and independent.

A very relevant song for occasion, here the song talks about the hesitance about love, but its the same about anything in life.
Here is Mitwa..

Teri nigaahen, paa gayi raheinpar tu yeh soche jaaun na jaaunyeh
zindagi jo hai naachti tohkyon bediyon mein hai tere paanv
preet ki dhun par naach le paaga ludta agar hai udne de aanchal
kaahe koi apne ko aaise tarsaaye jo hai ankahee jo hai ansuni woh baat kya hai bata

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Long time no see

Well I am back to my daily blogs, looks like it though. So day started with my sudden decision to cut my hair. I of sudden I thought that I hate long hair(long in my context is 2inches). So got up at 9 am and rode away to barbers shop to just finish of all hair. After the order I gave to finish it off, I was left with a very unique customised haircut I call "Cactus cut". When your hair is so short that it stands up like a cactus thorn then the cut is called a "cactus cut". So I now sport cactus cut, heheheh.
hmm so went to german class, after the class I was scheduled to meet my friend, I have mentioned him before. He is A lives in Europe came for vacations. So we went back to our most frequented spot, felt nice to chat again. For few minutes I forgot he lived in europe........
hmm but reality is the bitch which never fails to bite. It was nice time, loved it. I am trying to squeeze in another meeting before he goes back to europe. Lets see I hope we can manage...
Another news...I am meeting Karun in person tomorrow. He has come to pune, actually shirdi but will stop over pune to meet me. So will write about this first of kind experience. How does it feels to meet someone who whom you already know very well but never met? A decade ago such sentence would be called as stupid, but internet has done it.
So what happend tomorrow will write it there..
Till then aufweidersen..gute nacht

Monday, January 12, 2009

Ich lerne Deutche

Hmm I am loving my German class,in spite of its gruelling time schedule its not at all boring and repeating. Just like plainly. Out teachers are very jolly and accommodating, they understand all difficulties before we ask them. Also we are learning by direct method, meaning the teacher teaches German in German from day 1. Well now I almost all what teacher(die lehrerin) says in German. I like this way, the translation and using English cribs to learn another language is not acceptable and time eating.
So apart from class I am enjoying the camaraderie that i share with fellow students. Apart from an old (and a lot talked about) friend I have met new people. Two 16 year old boys, exact replica of what i was heheheh, very naughty and very inquisitive. Also like the innocence they have, what 6 years can do? seeing with my eyes. I also have with me a very irritating person. He is like sooo sycophantic, he is sort of dumb and constantly asks whats the teacher saying. I hate him even my old friend hates him and we try to avoid sitting next to him but he finds a way to get a seat next to us..shit..
Well I recalled a very old song, "O sanam " by lucky ali, great song love its slow speed. Here's the ever young and ever favorite "O sanam" by lucky ali enjoy the song.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Back to 2009

Hello...sorry for absence was busy with community so much that blog slipped to back of mind. Okay here are the updates. My sister has got married and is very happy with the same. I have passed my "jyotish visharad", with good colours. I have also started my leap towards further education.
hmm right now I have just started German classes. I have always thought about joining a class teaching European language. So with right now time to spare, I am doing it. I just had the first day today and it was very good. I am liking it very much. I hope I learn it till I master it like all the languages I know. Love languages....
Hmm 2009 has come. The year I was waiting for since 2007 has finally made its grand entrance.
2009 the year that will complete the most important dream I have till now. 2009 that will give a lot, forge a lot of me. Rahu will finally give its major result in 2009.
I hope I see a rerun of 2009 as I have already seen. Therefore the title is "back to 2009" that's not a mistake..
Only one request to planets..give me a 2009 that I saw in chart..Grant me my dream.
Here's the great song..."I have a dream" abba