Few weeks ago I wrote about how I was seriously was, "no strings attached" happy for someone else. Next in line I wrote about how I was unusually calm and composed in most aggression invoking scenarios. Today I wrote how change has affected me in another quadrant.
I have seemed to lost the bad attribute of "worrying" and "caring". Yes I was overtly worried about what my actions/words do to other people. This was to the extent that used to try to undo the harm by apologising or trying to allay the situation. Now I just don't care..:-).
Maybe another of Jupiter's changes(Still trying to gauge how I have changed, its very difficult to perceive yourself changing) but this one I open with open arms. I really need a break from the over emotional nature I had. Words are like arrows once they leave the bow there is little one can do. So whats the point in worrying and getting all upset by them.
As I have lost the care what my words do to others I seem to lost the action others does to me as well. I care very little about what people say to me nowadays. Its not that I have become a total ascetic or something. What I am writing is a drastic drop in intensity of the emotions I used to feel. The anger, the affinity, the care, the envy, the sorrow everything has suddenly dropped and and the effect is that I am very quiet and silent these days. But this quiescence is not sad it is the reflection of the peace of mind I have these days.
Hmm was hearing a really nice Marathi poems the other day, one line seems to refuse to leave my brain.
This is by Suresh Bhat I dont know the whole song but this line is very touching.....
Tula bhetatil majhe, tujhya ghari sur olakhiche
ubha tujya aagani swarancha abol ha parijaat aahe
(You will meet a lot of my tunes in your house; Standing in your courtyard is a silent tree of tunes)