A very old saying goes "What doesn't change dies". If not changing is attributed to a future death, changing must be attributed to life. So is change a sign of life? Or really does a change signify a health, a sense of living etc?
Recently I have changed a lot. I have become more patient and a lot less arguing. Earlier I used to fight for hours upon absolutely useless things, immaterial ones. Nowadays even important things cant force me to take up arms. I am a LOT less possessive and very much less caring also.
Is this good? Am I becoming calm or do I no longer care. The later situation is very bad because when I don't care for something, I really don't....that is the end then. At this stage I want to be a little optimistic and believe that I am becoming in generality calm and composed. Then the most frightening thought strikes my head. "Am I growing up?" :O. Till now I have always behaved like an overgrown kid and got away with that, but all of sudden I am loosing interest in many things which I had much many before. Can a person just "grow" in months?
Astrologically I just started a complete new antardasha, from Rahu-Rahu to Rahu-Guru. The planet of maturity and oldness Guru, is this the reason I am suddenly behaving like a calm composed person. Most weird thing is, I can see myself reacting differently. Like today I was in a situation where I would have flared up and created a huge hullabablaboo, but I did 1/20th of what I would have originally done. And while I was reacting like this, I was actually feeling myself changed. It was a very very weird feeling. It is like when only one of your foot gets wet.
You want more, you want water on the other foot but you cannot, its like that. I wanted to be more angry and more aggressive BUT...nothing..it was as if the taps of angers went dry and there is a drought of aggression.
Another thing is, I should be happy that I am more calm and not fast reacting, but I am not. I feel weird when I don't get angry. I feel like its not me. I know this is because of habit. Even parrots in cages love their cages and prefer them to open skies. I hope I realise the right time to leave the cage.
I never imagined that change of antardasha can bring about such drastic changes in me. For years people used to say to me "grow up", "learn to make decisions", "learn to take responsibility"..........Is it time to do it all? Has Jupiter decided that I shed the skin of child and become a man now? Scary it may be but if it is time I must do it. Because to live one must change. In coming time it will become clear what is expected of me now. Whether the time has finally come to "GROW UP"........for once and for all.........
Embedding song from my very favorite series "Brothers and sisters"..."Easier to lie"....
Even I feel the same, its easier to lie to myself, that nothing is changing stick to the past I had.
Everyone knows the shouldnt lie, but many still do....because it is much easier to lie...