Again the immortal dilemma strikes. "To do or not to do" that is the question. Right now I am stuck in a transition phase with many changes. Most of changes I have accepted with an open heart and clear open mind. Some however are dilematic.
Like here I cant get good vegetarian food, having two carnivores as room mates doesn't help either. They cook up animals every other day and I am left to fend for myself. Well I am a good cook and can feed myself perfectly well, but with the unavailability of many things I cant prepare food with variety to it. After some time boredom sets in and eating is a chore. Many people have urged me(including my parents) to give up this vegetarian diet and start eating dead bodies(ie meat). This is a tricky situation, do I give in to my situation and start eating meat or stick to my current diet devoid of meat. This isn't just about chicken, this is about the beliefs I believe in. This is about the concept I consider correct. Will I or rather Should I give up all my beliefs and stands just because I moved to a different Continent??
Then comes the American way of life. Parties, parties and some more parties. I hate those parties, I totally detest them but those are the only ways to meet new people. Should I put myself through something which I hate just that I am not alone? frankly I don't mind being alone, I would have loved to live by myself but given the financial restraints I am sharing an apartment. The problem is when I see people have a nice time I too think that I should have some good time with people. What I don't think, would I be really having a nice time if I were in place of those people?? I really don't know and trying is too much an effort.
And the dilemma continues with alcohol, abuses etc etc.
My way to deal with this problem? Just wait and watch for directions. After 2 long years Saturn is finally moving, removing the bad aspect to my vital houses in horoscope. So I am expecting something to change and when it does Saturn will reveal the direction I am supposed to go.
Sometimes when you cant decide "to do or not to do"..don't decide at all.
Let fate do it for you.
A beautiful scottish song.....calming music..