The Ghost - My new poem

Alone on a grey road,

 in a black night;

scared, she strode,

not a soul in sight.

Saw something near,

not very nice;

trembling with fear,

for every vice;

With courage hired,

did she accost;

The sceptre tired,

cold with frost.

Grey face ugly,

thin frame askew;

flesh all dangly,

but eyes were true.

I am your past,

sad,alone,a cast,

no idea how long,

before dead at last.

However disliked,

abhored, hated time;

You, my past spiked,

even riddled with slime.

Come with me,

Fear not quite;

I will set you free,

While we walk into the light.

Unruhe

Unruhe, german word for " not peaceful", "restless". Exactly what I am feeling right now. The most scary part? I cannot pinpoint it . Another semester comes to end soon. Though it is still some time for me to graduate I have a an apprehension of what is to follow. This is a new concept since I have never been apprehensive about the future. When you know what is going to happen you don't get shocked. Thing is, even in the deepest faith, there remains a fraction of doubt. What if this does not turn out the way I know it should?
This may seem weird but sometimes I feel someone is watching over me,getting me out of trouble and preventing me from getting into new ones. I do think that this might be an observation for a lot many others. Truth maybe far from that and all those circumstance might be just random events taking place. I do not care for the truth, but if someone is watching over me, then I need him/her/it now.... They need to come and take this Unruhe away, because I my heart knows everything is going to be all right, its just my brain keeps interfering. 

Why does the right feel wrong?

For a last few days I had been feeling rather optimistic. Instead of being horribly worried about the future, for a change I was looking at it like a world of opportunities. Naturally this was a phase, because nothing turns out the way I want it. It is always something which is good for me in the long run, but the short-sighted greedy person I am, I fail to see the usefulness of the fiasco right now. If that what happens is right for us, why does it feel so wrong?

Surrounded by optimistic people who say things like "In the end everything will turn out fine" and "'Whatever happens, happens for good", can a sane pessimist survive the onslaught of hope? The worst punishment one can give to a person is a false hope. In such light are optimistic people just killing us? If whatever is happening is supposed to be a part of huge plan which will in the end turn out fine, why is the working of the plan so shitty? And who is to say what we will get at the end of the plan. If the path is any judge to the destination we sure are heading towards Shitville...

Saw a movie recently North and South 2004. Sound track from the same....a piece called "I have seen hell". The monologue behind this piece goes 

"How cold and harsh it is here, everywhere there is conflict and unkindness

I think god has forsaken this place, I believe I 've seen hell......it is white snow white"