I am horribly bored so I just decided to visit the blog. I should really start writing regularly, it is cathartic and I have practically nothing else to do for almost a month now. So lets see I hope i do start writing regularly.
Reason for this post particularly pertains to a very painful repetition of events in my life. I guess the year to be 2008 and a different country. I don't know but i always seem to save myself from trouble by building huge walls around me. Locking myself up in an ivory tower where I am safe from all the miseries of the world, in a place where no one holds the power to hurt me. Though everyone I meet starts on the same page, some very few do manage to knock down some walls. Few come close to my ivory tower and once in 2 years someone does manage to reach me.
I don't know how but sometimes things happen where I open up to people. Bad part of this is, they gain considerable power over me and my thinking, which I don't like at all.
Deja vu, the feeling that the present has happened before, like you are living it the second time around. Someone has done this before and someone is doing it now. Last time it hurt me like hell, and I am afraid it is going to hurt again.
The thought that I will have to go through this shit again is exasperating. Still don't know what to do. Save myself the heartache I will have in 6months for which I will have to push the person away or have fun for 6months and brace myself for the shit yet once more??
Like I always say...time holds the answer in her womb and all we have is ultrasound(astrology) :D. See
See you around. A very nice song to mark the sentiment.. The scene where she is eating alone reminds me of myself a lot.