To do or not to do

Again the immortal dilemma strikes. "To do or not to do" that is the question. Right now I am stuck in a transition phase with many changes. Most of changes I have accepted with an open heart and clear open mind. Some however are dilematic.
Like here I cant get good vegetarian food, having two carnivores as room mates doesn't help either. They cook up animals every other day and I am left to fend for myself. Well I am a good cook and can feed myself perfectly well, but with the unavailability of many things I cant prepare food with variety to it. After some time boredom sets in and eating is a chore. Many people have urged me(including my parents) to give up this vegetarian diet and start eating dead bodies(ie meat). This is a tricky situation, do I give in to my situation and start eating meat or stick to my current diet devoid of meat. This isn't just about chicken, this is about the beliefs I believe in. This is about the concept I consider correct. Will I or rather Should I give up all my beliefs and stands just because I moved to a different Continent??
Then comes the American way of life. Parties, parties and some more parties. I hate those parties, I totally detest them but those are the only ways to meet new people. Should I put myself through something which I hate just that I am not alone? frankly I don't mind being alone, I would have loved to live by myself but given the financial restraints I am sharing an apartment. The problem is when I see people have a nice time I too think that I should have some good time with people. What I don't think, would I be really having a nice time if I were in place of those people?? I really don't know and trying is too much an effort.
And the dilemma continues with alcohol, abuses etc etc.
My way to deal with this problem? Just wait and watch for directions. After 2 long years Saturn is finally moving, removing the bad aspect to my vital houses in horoscope. So I am expecting something to change and when it does Saturn will reveal the direction I am supposed to go.
Sometimes when you cant decide "to do or not to do"..don't decide at all.
Let fate do it for you.
A beautiful scottish song.....calming music..

Welcome to America

So finally got time to write a blog. This is my first post from USA.....

I arrived in US about a week ago but was busy with the university process so didn't get time to write anything. After a long process of examination,application,visa,packing,a gruellingly long flight, lot of jet lag I finally arrived in US. I had a flight from Mumbai to Atlanta and another connecting flight from Atlanta to Cleveland,where I currently am.  Weird emotions, when you don't have it you are constantly thinking of how you can have it, and when you DO have it, booh its no more important.
United states is a little different country, It doesn't have an ethnicity or a culture it can call it its own, it surely is a melting pot of all the world has to offer. It is a country where you can find a cafeteria owned by a black person, which has Latino waiters serving German pastries to finicky Indian customers :). One thing I totally hate is the amount of eat eaten here. There is practically nothing I can get in restaurants here. They have very little vegetarian food on counter. I do cook for myself but that always is not possible with the time constraints and the odd class hours. I have a class at 6pm to 9pm.WTH is this?? :O. Anyway the thing is this country is not like any another. In many countries it is possible to identify the "country people" and the foreigners, but here uh ha. USA is just not that easy, people who might look like totally adapted to American way of life actually might have alighted from an aeroplane in last 48hours and vice a versa.
Hmm..like it or not, I have to live here for another 2 years now. Like loudspeakers at Atlanta airport I say "Welcome to America"

Unremarkably remarkable

I had the most odd day today. I had decided to go for a morning show at 9 with a couple of friends. As usual we all didn't get up on time for 9 show. Hurriedly we raced to theatre to catch the 11 show and viola..there is no Transformers 2 show at 11. We got tickets for the 2pm show. now what to do from 10:30 till 2??
Then the fun began. We went into a really crowded restaurant. We knew that this restaurant would be horribly crowded at this time on Sunday, still we on purpose went in. We wanted to past time. There we we waited for an hour to get the table and I loved 45minutes of the wait. We had a boy constantly looking at us(or rather me :P). We spent a lot of time discussing whether he is gay or bi curious hehehehe...
Later we finally got a shared table ie its a big table we share it with other customers. Our table sharers were quite weird. First there were 3-4 ugly boys with us on table. They were talking of going to US and all, we were like "puhlease..we have our visas"..heheh just some boasting. Later a very weird fellow came and sat next to us. He wore s formal pant a very formal leather belt and to match off a funky t-shirt and a winter cap(??????? in July????) and was listening to what seemed a mp3 player(which actually on close observation was a cheap radio). He started screaming for tea, loudly. Whole restaurant was like "ehh?? wth"..he got his tea drank it like he were sipping vintage wine and then straight went to restroom. Returned in few minutes and just sat for dew minutes plain blank done, almost comatose. Later paid the bill and went away..
It was so unusual time in restaurant.

Now you would say whats remarkable about this?? This was the last time I was waiting with this very close friend of mine. He too is leaving for USA.
A single fact changed an entire stupid story into what is really was "Unremarkably remarkable".

See you once again...

Generally I say that to any person while we say byes. Yesterday I realise that sometime in near future I will have to stop it for once. I still have time to go to USA, but one of my friends is leaving a little earlier as he will spend time with his family in New Jersey. As I saw him calling up all friends to tell them that he is going and wants to meet them one last time, it slowly dawned upon me that I would have to do the same some day.
Then I realised that there will be last meetings and last byes. I doubt when I return the things will have changed and I can no longer see and meet the friends that I did. However optimistic a person is, 2 years is just too much of time and this is tentative. Further I may meet close friends, what about the people who are friends but not that close? Will I even try to contact them?? Will I be the same person? Will the ever changing dynamicity show its irreversible effect and metamorphose my very existence into something that is absolutely different than what I am?
The womb of time holds the answer and it doesn't deliver prematurely..EVER..

A song that I have loved for ages. Westlife sings "My love".

So I say it in a breath
Hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again my love
All the seas go coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again

I hope I see you once again, really......

"Bhoolna aur Yaad nahi rehna"

"Bhool jana aur yaad nahi rehna"...What is the difference in the two?
I saw a TV show which was a very nice portrayal of a woman afflicted by Alzheimer's disease and is treated as a mad person and thrown out of her house. The show showed how she hires a taxi to go meet her family but fails to remember her address leading to various situations....
At the very end it is shown that the her son had forgotten her birthday. Then the difference between the seemingly same emerges.

We forget what we want to, and dont remember what we want to.

Bhoolna aur jaad na rehne mein kafi farak hain.....

And it rained...

Rain was eluding Pune city for over 15days now. Usually it starts raining pre monsoon showers by end of May but this year it didn't drop a single drop till today..
Today was a sad day, a small tragedy in family made all sad ans busy. It was not much to cry over but sorrow was in the air. So spent the most of the day thinking and being somewhat sad. Later in evening it just happened that the sky filled a grey colour and within minutes it became evident that it was going to rain today. As if to calm and mollify the sorrow, heavens opened up after a long time. A summer tempest type rain was very comforting and relaxing. I make a point to wet myself in first rains on Monsoon, that is really a nice feeling to have. This year it was least expected considering the situation, but monsoon itself wanted me to be wet. I was returning home on bike when drops suddenly bounced off the hot arid tar. As I rode home filled with thoughts mostly sad, as if to calm me down, as if to quickly move forward, as a signal of hope and happiness...
It rained.....
Song to suit the mood

Crossing the stream

May ends and with it I lay to rest many ghosts of past. Many stories in my life are either finished or drawing themselves to dramatic endings. I always wonder the way of fate, it just makes way for everything. Things just fall in in right places, places are made for things to fall in. An effortless way of fate to meet all the requirements. What seems utterly impossible turn into blaring realities. One move by planets and the entire background on your life is situated turns around and reveals a new colour to which you are supposed to adjust.
There is a very old song by ABBA called "I have a dream" in which a line goes "When I know the time is right for me, I cross the stream". I am feeling the same way. Its time to cross the stream.
Thanks to Dasha change I have a very new outlook to life and a very cool, stable approach to life.
Now I guess I am ready to cross the "symbolic" stream.
There are number of things which bind me to this shore of streams..thought most of them are finding way to end association. Really things are really fixing themselves, people making their own exits. I will be hard just to pack up and leave for ever, but I have no choice. I have to follow my fate and that signals me to leave now.
As far as people I am leaving on this shore then it will be difficult for them. Mainly my family will be affected much. I don't have any prominent friends. I had a very good friend but I am not on talking terms with him since a months now, that's a closed story. I think I ll meet him once before I leave, don't know lets see when "bye bye" time comes. Another friend is like me leaving so that's his own fate and story. So mainly family that will miss me, but its a temporary thing, they will get over my absence soon. Time doesn't stagnate and doesn't let anyone stagnate. Changes are eternal and only death can rescue you from changes..
So in June I finally step ahead to cross the stream. Bye bye comfortable May..hope to see you once again in life.
Same song "I have a dream" by ABBA