Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Silver linings

Right now I am going through a pretty bad time in life. One of my online friends suggested that I should write at such an important time. Deeply thinking its a good idea, writing can be cathartic for the mind, especially when you don't have anyone trust able to reveal your true feelings to.
The silver lining of this dark cloud is that I have taken a step forward in my readings. I have invested my time in reading classical literature, the sort of literature every "well accomplished" person should know. I read Jane Austen,Milton,Wilde and of course Shakespeare too. Apart from my wish to be well versed in literature I read more for the joy of it. Thankfully the library in our university is stocked with all kinds of books. So maybe after this drought in happiness is flushed by rain I will be left with a sense of accomplishment.
As I wait for the planets to turn and help my fortune I cannot help but realise that this time has taught me many a things. It has changed me a lot, made me more of a man and less of a boy. I still wonder whether this bad spell has stabbed my innocence or injected it with a vitaliser. Time of course as usual holds the unborn answer in her womb delivering only when he's completely ready to face the world and the world him.
Writing an excerpt from a poem by Oscar Wilde "The dole of King's daughter"

There are two that ride from south and east,
And two from the north and west,
For the black raven a goodly feast,
For the king's daughter rest

There is one man who loves her true,
Red ,O red is stain of gore!
He hath duggen a grave by the darksome yew
One grave will do for four.

No moon in the still Heaven,
In the black water none,
The sins on her soul are seven,
The sin upon his is one.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Hope, good or bad?

The reason for this thought is but natural a personal hope. Right now I am hoping that I get a job. I had applied for a job and was called for interview too. Interview went well but owing to the holidays in between the decision has been postponed till the coming week. As the "D week" arrives I wonder what will happen to me? Will I get this job? I can only hope...
There is a very famous conversation in the movie "Shaw shank Redemption" about hope. About how hope can be fatal, crush a man's life when the deed is not fulfilled. On the other hand he spent the time he had hoping for it and at least that time was not bad. So what do we do exactly? Is it wrong to hope for something? If the wish does come true, then hope was the best thing to have and if it doesn't it was the worst thing.
My hope is worst than others, because its based on astrology. I am not just randomly hoping for something. My hope is based on the study if planets. That in sense complicates things because if this hope is not satisfied it will directly assault my belief in astrology. I know it sounds shallow and childish but when you hope for something for months on end, your mind makes up things and dreams that are very difficult to delete. At such a time an entity taking the blame for hope is a healing one. I am not saying that if I don't get the job astrology is wrong, I maybe wrong for astrology. :)

Friday, January 1, 2010

New year begins

I am writing on the new year's eve. 2009 ends and 2010 begins, as with the year a new decade also begins.
I am not out partying because of lack company, my roomates and most friends are away either visiting someone or on work so there is no one actually to force me to go out. Far from being sad or dejected I rather prefer the situation. New year's eve is certainly much better enjoyed alone for me. I for one believe that there is no better time to relax and contemplate sometimes even analyse and plan for the future. The year that went was by far the most turbulent year of my life. After a great sense of improbablity I did manage to secure admission in one of the universities here, applied and procured a visa and finally flew in to US. By far this is the most major life changing event I have ever been through so by that scale 2009 is the most adventurous year of my life.
Last year I was sad, 2008 was a very good year and I was sad that it was ending. This is year I am happy. One of the most turbulent year of my life is coming to an end. It gives a person a hope, even maybe false that future is not so turbulent and there is serenity to look forward to.
Wishing all a happy new year 2010, may 2010 wash all the sorrow 2009 dragged in with. Happy new year